Being an Adult comes with Expectations

For about a week or so I have felt quite like an Adult. I drove to work, I made monies, I came home and made dinner for the hubby and kids... I slept at a decent hour and got up when it was still a little dark outside.

I have discovered that being a grown-up comes with many unspoken expectations. When you do something wrong no one is next to you telling you not to do it. At work, no one teaches you how to make coffee. No one says stop when you open up a new window for Farmville. Once you get hired, you are trusted to always do your work and not mess around! You are expected to stride into the office with an air of belonging and knowledge and even if you sneak out to chase deer, people assume that you're doing something productive.

When you're young, parents consistently remind you not to do "bad things," to be polite and courteous, to do good things for other people. Eventually these admonishments are supposed to turn into your conscience. That is, when you are about to check Facebook for the millionth time that day, a little parental voice in your head should say, "Hey, don't do it."

But everyone has a different kind of little voice. How do you know what you have is good enough and above the normal threshold? What if your coworker believes in a healthy 10:90 facebook-to-work ratio and yours is more like 40:60? How are we all supposed to judge the same way, and how do we know exactly what we should be doing? How much is enough and how much is too little?

Ultimately these judgey decisions we made only affect our own lives and our own future. It is hard because you are making the most important decisions for your most important adult self. Because when someone tells you the broken car bumper is secure you're the one who's at risk if it fails and you have to trust your judgment.

Throughout my life I have always done things at just above the accepted level. I get by with being pretty good at tennis, decent at violin, above average at drawing, and better than other people at being smart (lol). But now as I become an Adult I have to get my act together and start being above average. Which means being better than other people who are already Adults and already above above average. This is difficult when I look 15.

In the end we all screw up a little, lose focus for a moment, make some mistakes. But isn't it nice to know that when this happens my parents are still willing to come to my aid, clean up my mess, and tell me I won't become a failure at life. I guess I'm still not quite that Adult.