As Valentine's Day approaches once again, all us single folk are forced to reflect on our single lives and lack of a significant other. During the day of, we have to stay at home and avoid any happy places where a couple may be macking out. Even though we have no idea how the relationship dynamic works, it still sucks to see the "better" parts of it shoved in our faces. This was a mistake I faced last year.
But now, I want to talk about being able to Do Things Alone. This is quite an impressive feat that not everyone is able to master, most of all me. I usually wouldn't eat in a restaurant alone, go shooting alone, or even ride the BART alone (unless I'm sneaking off to a Gap 40% off sale).
I always admire people who are able to enjoy events alone, especially events that others usually do together. Like going to concerts alone, eating meals alone, trekking through Ikea's showrooms alone. They are comfortable with themselves and friendly to strangers, something that I like to avoid by putting on sunglasses and earbuds. But honestly, if you really want to do something, the lack of a SO to share it with should not deter you. If your want for it is high enough then screw all your friends who hate Ke$sha and go to her fucking concert and then have a great time dancing with teenagers!
To myself, I make up lists of things that I could feel would be fun to do with a significant other. Past items on list have included watching Wall-e, going to concerts and musicals, or having a picnic (anything grass-related). While for some things I should just stop bitching and do them without a boy, sometimes there are others that would just be a lot better with a SO.
This is not fair.
How about going to a fancy date-like restaurant - I'd feel weird going with a girl in fear of others mistaking my sexual orientation. Or taking a stroll along the beach at night - not something I'd do with my BFF. Going to a weekend getaway and wine-tasting, a fancy cruise, or even just lying around on the grass on a nice day. Something dancing-related that is not in a club or involve grinding.
So I guess the moral of this little rant is that I/you should just man up and do the shit you want to do. Don't want for some dumb boy to motivate you to finally read that book or go running. Then after you feel all successful and accomplished maybe you can come home and cry about how you're not at Chez Panisse with your future husband.
Happy Valentine's day, kids. Too bad there is no cube competition this year.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Being an Adult comes with Expectations
For about a week or so I have felt quite like an Adult. I drove to work, I made monies, I came home and made dinner for the hubby and kids... I slept at a decent hour and got up when it was still a little dark outside.
I have discovered that being a grown-up comes with many unspoken expectations. When you do something wrong no one is next to you telling you not to do it. At work, no one teaches you how to make coffee. No one says stop when you open up a new window for Farmville. Once you get hired, you are trusted to always do your work and not mess around! You are expected to stride into the office with an air of belonging and knowledge and even if you sneak out to chase deer, people assume that you're doing something productive.
When you're young, parents consistently remind you not to do "bad things," to be polite and courteous, to do good things for other people. Eventually these admonishments are supposed to turn into your conscience. That is, when you are about to check Facebook for the millionth time that day, a little parental voice in your head should say, "Hey, don't do it."
But everyone has a different kind of little voice. How do you know what you have is good enough and above the normal threshold? What if your coworker believes in a healthy 10:90 facebook-to-work ratio and yours is more like 40:60? How are we all supposed to judge the same way, and how do we know exactly what we should be doing? How much is enough and how much is too little?
Ultimately these judgey decisions we made only affect our own lives and our own future. It is hard because you are making the most important decisions for your most important adult self. Because when someone tells you the broken car bumper is secure you're the one who's at risk if it fails and you have to trust your judgment.
Throughout my life I have always done things at just above the accepted level. I get by with being pretty good at tennis, decent at violin, above average at drawing, and better than other people at being smart (lol). But now as I become an Adult I have to get my act together and start being above average. Which means being better than other people who are already Adults and already above above average. This is difficult when I look 15.
In the end we all screw up a little, lose focus for a moment, make some mistakes. But isn't it nice to know that when this happens my parents are still willing to come to my aid, clean up my mess, and tell me I won't become a failure at life. I guess I'm still not quite that Adult.
I have discovered that being a grown-up comes with many unspoken expectations. When you do something wrong no one is next to you telling you not to do it. At work, no one teaches you how to make coffee. No one says stop when you open up a new window for Farmville. Once you get hired, you are trusted to always do your work and not mess around! You are expected to stride into the office with an air of belonging and knowledge and even if you sneak out to chase deer, people assume that you're doing something productive.
When you're young, parents consistently remind you not to do "bad things," to be polite and courteous, to do good things for other people. Eventually these admonishments are supposed to turn into your conscience. That is, when you are about to check Facebook for the millionth time that day, a little parental voice in your head should say, "Hey, don't do it."
But everyone has a different kind of little voice. How do you know what you have is good enough and above the normal threshold? What if your coworker believes in a healthy 10:90 facebook-to-work ratio and yours is more like 40:60? How are we all supposed to judge the same way, and how do we know exactly what we should be doing? How much is enough and how much is too little?
Ultimately these judgey decisions we made only affect our own lives and our own future. It is hard because you are making the most important decisions for your most important adult self. Because when someone tells you the broken car bumper is secure you're the one who's at risk if it fails and you have to trust your judgment.
Throughout my life I have always done things at just above the accepted level. I get by with being pretty good at tennis, decent at violin, above average at drawing, and better than other people at being smart (lol). But now as I become an Adult I have to get my act together and start being above average. Which means being better than other people who are already Adults and already above above average. This is difficult when I look 15.
In the end we all screw up a little, lose focus for a moment, make some mistakes. But isn't it nice to know that when this happens my parents are still willing to come to my aid, clean up my mess, and tell me I won't become a failure at life. I guess I'm still not quite that Adult.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
why I don't (like to) compost
Those friendly green compost bins at our dining commons... yea I never really use them. At Crossroads sometimes I get peer-pressured into dumping my excess dinner into the huge bins, but at Cafe 3 I don't bother.
Because if they were really serious about not wasting food, the people working there would actually listen to you when you tell them you only want "A LITTLE BIT."Conversation Exchange I had yesterday at Crossroads:
Dining lady: rice and chicken?
Me: No rice! Just chicken
DL: *dumps rice on plate*
Me: No rice! No rice! ...awww damn it.
DL: *oblivious*
Maybe I should speak louder? Why do they always ask what you want, if they're just going to give you the same amount anyway? They always heap huge portions on my plate, and I can never finish it! Hence the extra food for compost, and hence my disinclination to compost.
stop your scooping movements!! I'm a small person and I don't need to eat moar!
Because if they were really serious about not wasting food, the people working there would actually listen to you when you tell them you only want "A LITTLE BIT."
Dining lady: rice and chicken?
Me: No rice! Just chicken
DL: *dumps rice on plate*
Me: No rice! No rice! ...awww damn it.
DL: *oblivious*
Maybe I should speak louder? Why do they always ask what you want, if they're just going to give you the same amount anyway? They always heap huge portions on my plate, and I can never finish it! Hence the extra food for compost, and hence my disinclination to compost.
stop your scooping movements!! I'm a small person and I don't need to eat moar!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Pet Peeves: Not Being On Time
Since I try my best not to be emo on this blog, I think I should be able to rant. So I'm going to start a series on my pet peeves. Something I'm passionate about, right? First one is
Not Being On Time D:
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, before cell phones and text messaging, people were on time. You tell someone you'll meet them at 1pm, you get there maybe 5-10 minutes before 1pm so you can be there for the whole span from 12:55pm to 1:05pm. Your friend, being a responsible individual who would never want to keep you waiting, will show up in that time interval. People waste hardly any time and everything proceeds on schedule.
I remember in high school, I had two good friends who were ALWAYS ON TIME, if not early. Those were the days. I could always expect these two to show up right on the dot. I remember one time when a group of us were meeting, and when I arrive early, I knew that my on-time friend would be the next to come. And he does, right on time.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT.
Maybe we all need an ominous lizard clock to keep track of time.
Nowadays, with Berkeley time and iPhones and the extinction of watches, I am constantly judging and considering and making sure I show up at the right time, if not on time. No one wants to be the one waiting around. Party starts at 9? Show up at 11. Meet me in 15? For some, that means 30. I'll call you back at 2? No call ever. (actually that's unrelated and a different story)
After a year of people being late, I am late too. This makes me sad. I remember one time when I tried to use my late-time-judgement, but I still ended up waiting 40+ minutes... it was cold too! WTF. Is it so hard to be present at a time you determine without calling or canceling or running late? What happened to the common courtesy that says you shouldn't call last minute to change plans?
Ed from FMA is good at knowing what's important.
I am a very punctual person. I always arrive exactly when I want to arrive. But being at college has screwed me all up! I am actually late sometimes, but then other people are always late-r.
And now I'm going through all the times when someone's kept me waiting. All it says is that you don't consider the other person important enough to be on time and not waste their time. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. So I'm going to stop.
But remember kids, after five minutes means you're LATE. Not fifteen.
Not Being On Time D:
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, before cell phones and text messaging, people were on time. You tell someone you'll meet them at 1pm, you get there maybe 5-10 minutes before 1pm so you can be there for the whole span from 12:55pm to 1:05pm. Your friend, being a responsible individual who would never want to keep you waiting, will show up in that time interval. People waste hardly any time and everything proceeds on schedule.
I remember in high school, I had two good friends who were ALWAYS ON TIME, if not early. Those were the days. I could always expect these two to show up right on the dot. I remember one time when a group of us were meeting, and when I arrive early, I knew that my on-time friend would be the next to come. And he does, right on time.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT.
Maybe we all need an ominous lizard clock to keep track of time.
Nowadays, with Berkeley time and iPhones and the extinction of watches, I am constantly judging and considering and making sure I show up at the right time, if not on time. No one wants to be the one waiting around. Party starts at 9? Show up at 11. Meet me in 15? For some, that means 30. I'll call you back at 2? No call ever. (actually that's unrelated and a different story)
After a year of people being late, I am late too. This makes me sad. I remember one time when I tried to use my late-time-judgement, but I still ended up waiting 40+ minutes... it was cold too! WTF. Is it so hard to be present at a time you determine without calling or canceling or running late? What happened to the common courtesy that says you shouldn't call last minute to change plans?
Ed from FMA is good at knowing what's important.
I am a very punctual person. I always arrive exactly when I want to arrive. But being at college has screwed me all up! I am actually late sometimes, but then other people are always late-r.
And now I'm going through all the times when someone's kept me waiting. All it says is that you don't consider the other person important enough to be on time and not waste their time. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. So I'm going to stop.
But remember kids, after five minutes means you're LATE. Not fifteen.
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