Favorite Movies: Closer

"Do you have any children?"
"No."
"Would you like some?"
"Yes, but not today."


I first saw this picture in 2004 when the movie came out, and I knew I had to see it (because it looks so cool!). I finally did last year, and Closer has become one of my favorite movies of all time, for its clever banter, amazing performances by the actors, and raw honesty about love and relationships. Here are some of my favorite parts.


This has to be the hottest kiss I've seen in a film, all that nuzzling. Basically the guy (Dan) used to be this quiet nerdy guy until he meets Alice (Natalie Portman), and being with her transforms him into a cocky jerk who is so full of himself he just goes after random beautiful women. (boysaredumb)


"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and all the glittery assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they want to see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie."

So this movie is about four people who fall in love and couple up, but two can't help but cheat on the other two. It is not for the soft-hearted, because it is very very sexual and probably very offensive too. But I think it gets right to the point about love and relationships and infidelity, more honest and direct than any other film. And with witty and cutting dialogue to go along with it.


"No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?"

This is my favorite scene in the movie, with an amazing performance by Natalie Portman. She finds out that Dan has been cheating on her for a year when he just says it right to her, "This will hurt." It is heartbreaking and honest and very realistic. In real life when people break up the girl/guy doesn't just say something clever and biting and walk away like in other movies. It hurts but you just can't let go and leave, you want to hang on, you want to know all the details, exactly how/when/what happened. You want to know if anything had been real, because it's so incomprehensible that this could happen, and this scene does all that beautifully.

"You did love me?"
"I'll always love you, I hate hurting you."
"Why are you?"
"Because I'm selfish."


"How? How does it work? How do you do this to someone?"

After this you might think this movie gives a kind of a depressing view on love, but I think its honesty just addresses the truth about people. Relationships are hard and people are selfish and cruel and deceptive. None of these characters are what they appear to be.

I read a review that claimed Larry was the asshole most guys want to be, but Dan is the asshole most guys are, his petulance and immaturity lurking beneath the shy guy surface. So be careful, girls! The cute innocent ones are the ones that will turn into a huge jerk after they start a relationship with you. Not that that is the moral of this story (movie).

The moral of the story is that Natalie Portman is so so good (hot) in here....roflcakes. If there's nothing else you can get from it.