Freshmen Hunting

As the start of school approaches, one may notice on a college campus the sudden appearance of a great many individuals who seem "glad" and "cheerful" as they make their way from class to class. Depending on your preference, you may want to avoid or instantly bond with such "freshmen." Therefore, I've written up some tips on spotting them.

Tip 1: They travel in packs
Freshmen never move alone. They are continuously trailing along a roommate or two, sometimes even their entire floor. At this point even something like "Let's go buy textbooks from the overpriced bookstores" will conjure up half a dozen eager faces, ready to head out with said freshman.


"I love studying on the grass in bright neon colors!"

Tip 2: They have their ID/keys/good luck charm from Mom around their neck
I suppose this makes it harder to lose, but that's what pockets are for, and this fashion statement is way tacky. Everyone and their mom has a student ID with a corresponding lanyard, not original at all. Try having it hang out subtly from a jeans pocket instead of loped around one's neck.

Tip 3: They're still wearing their high school class shirt or some sort of first-day-of-school ensemble
So they look like they're still in high school. Probably busting out a new Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie that looks the same as the ten other ones they own. (for further info, consult this post) A class shirt can also instantly indicate what year they're in (ie. freshman)

Tip 4: And finally, they talk way too loudly and look way too excited.
You can probably expect them to show up to class around half an hour early, in order to mill around outside and introduce themselves to a new friend. They talk about everything with absurd levels of enthusiasm ("ZOMG the expired bread at the dining commons was sooo good roflcakes")

Just wait, kids. In a few years all of you freshmen will be old and bitter like me. Just kidding. I'm a freshman at heart :D


I love school and learning and studying and learning!!