Emo Bashing: Twilight the movie

Twilight, the movie based on Stephenie Meyer's book, has got to be the most hilariously emo film I have seen in a long time. Not only does no one ever ever smile in that movie (except that cute girl Jessica), every scene is drenched in this perpetual dreary gray-blue emo color. When I first saw it, I thought maybe it was due to the poor quality of the crappy camera version, but upon second viewing in better quality (perhaps I will discover the eye candy everyone else sees?), I realized that this movie is really the epitome of EMO.

First of all, this movie makes NO SENSE. In what world would a depressed looking girl become the star of her school on her first day in the middle of the semester? And why would anyone like her when she has this huge ego that prompts her to believe that no guy is good enough for her but the dark mysterious unattainable one? COME ON. What are we teaching the next generation? And Kristen Stewart's acting is unbelievably dull.


"I've only known you for two days, but after that frolic on the grass yesterday I'm madly in love with you."
"Hey me too! When do I get to give my life for you?"
This gazing into each others' eyes thing goes on for about 80% of the movie.

Not only that, but the main male lead (Edward) is SUCH a creeper. This movie only teaches 14-year-old girls that it's okay when guys randomly appear in your room when you're in your underwear, as long as he's brooding and evil and is resisting the urge to kill you. Romantic is having the guy following you around without your knowledge, sneaking around your house, and taking you to deserted to places so he can tell you he wants to eat you. Never mind that he looks twenty-five and this is like child molestation. Storylines like this are the reason girls go for the evil dangerous types!

And the vampire. If he was really that cool of a vampire, and immortal, why is he still in HIGH SCHOOL? Shouldn't he be doing something significant with his life, say, maybe go to college? Instead of lurking around high schools picking up little girls and constantly ranting about his monstrosity and evil nature. Also, why are vampires only good-looking people? I bet the doctor vampire just lets the ugly ones die while he changes the pretty ones to add to his "family."

This film makes me never want to go near one of the actual books. Plus, the apple cover is such a ripoff of Death Note. (btw, if you want to lust after a evil dangerous guy, go after Raito from Death Note, because at least he's INTELLIGENT) It is so sad the kind of books that now fall under "good fantasy literature." Tolkien is quality literature. Pullman is quality literature. Even Harry Potter and Narnia are better than this unrealistic romance emo crap.

Please realize that you can never truly call yourself a fantasy buff until you've read Tolkien. Meyer's bad influence Twilight does not count. That is all.