On Birthdays

Growing up in an Asian household, I was taught that on your birthday, you throw a party/have a dinner and invite your friends. Since your friends bring you presents, you pay for the party/their dinner. Everything is dandy.

As I got to college and experienced real American culture, I learned that on your birthday, you go out to dinner and your friends pay for you. Slickdeal!

However, this may put you in an awkward situation. On one hand, you don't want to invite everyone you know to "Come celebrate my birthday! BONUS: pay for my dinner!" On the other, you really do want to have dinner with friends on your birthday.

As such, it leaves you with a few options:

1. Have a really good friend who will automatically round up everyone else for you. This only works if you have a friend who will do this without being asked.

2. Don't have dinner - throw a party, buy booze, and have your guests bring more booze.

When you're between the ages of one and twelve, your parents will automatically plan parties for you. There's none of that awkwardness where you wait around hoping someone will remember your birthday and plan an outing. Even if the outing gets planned, I still feel uncomfortable being the center of attention for 24 hrs. I start making a mental list of all the attendees and become concerned about whether I was there to celebrate their birthdays.



In America, your birthday is the one day you can do whatever the shit you want and no one can say anything. People who hate you will be nice to you, your facebook friends who you've only seen once will pretend to care about you. Then the next day things go back to normal and no one comments or "likes" your cute cat picture.

The best scenario, I've found, is option three:

3. Share your birthday with someone. If someone has the same birthday as you, you don't have to feel guilty because you plan each others' dinners! Of course, if you share a dinner then it will suck for your friends who have to pay 2x.

I miss my birthday-sharer. She goes back to school too early now. No more running next door and yelling "It's your birthday!!!" to each other.

Sooo... who wants to plan my birthday dinner/outing/party this year??

2010 in pictures

Last year I did this pictures post. Thought I'd do it again this year, since I haven't been posting that much. It's been a good year... this marks the tenth year I've been living in the United States. Finally got citizenship too, woo!

It's hard to believe that ten years ago, I wrote this three-page list of reason why California sucks. That was when I was 12 and thought snow was the best thing ever. Now, I'm glad it never gets below like 40 degrees here. Fahrenheit. Oh how things have changed.

1. January

I turned 21! Here is dinner at Zabu Zabu, where Jeremy attempted a 3-layer cube cake :)
I had a few firsts this month. Not all of which I will detail here. But I got my first guitar, I got my ears pierced, etc. Pretty good month.

2. February

I went to the pillow fight in SF for Valentine's Day! Although the fight was fun, walking around outside on V-Day really isn't. Would not do again.
Other highlights include a trip to Reno at the end of the month, where I gambled for the first time.
(Sorry for terrible pic quality. They'll get better...)

3. March

Trip to the Berkeley Botanical Gardens! On assignment for Berkeley's Caliber magazine.
In 2009 my March was pretty good. It was pretty good this year too. Hopefully 2011's will be even better!

4. April

Second time to the Cherry Blossom Festival!

5. May

Here's a pic I couldn't leave out. End of May we had a massive sewing party in which we made Pokemon trainer costumes for Fanime. See Facebook for said embarrassing pictures of me dressed as a 10-year-old. I also saw Wicked for the second time! Got better seats. Felt it was better the first time, but still worth.

6. June

This was a pretty cool day we had. First we were at Theta Chi for The Pack's filming of Wolfpack Party. See me in the music video here (grey striped shirt on right). Then we went swimming at Strawberry Canyon. Then to Trader Joe's for sandwich supplies --> Berkeley Rose Garden --> secret waterfall for picnic! This was also after a night of epic.... fun.

7. July

Impressionist exhibit at the De Young museum!! Monet!! Degas!! Renoir!! This month I also saw Idina Menzel perform with SF Symphony!! I also became an American citizen.

8. August

Cubers on a subway in New York. In August we had our Boston/New York trip. Cubers at Nationals. Cubers everywhere in Boston. Cubing all the time.

9. September

Beginning of my senior year at Cal. Was in denial and ran off to San Francisco food festival. Where there were many noms.

10. October

2nd Cal football game ever! We beat UCLA, I went with lovely roommates, pretty good day in general.

11. November

I saw Robyn live! Free tickets! Plus we had really good tri-tip salad for dinner. Also she signed my CD. Maybe I should've taken a pic of it and posted that instead.

12. December

I went snowboarding in Tahoe and went on a scarier green hill, on which I actually turned and carved a few times without falling on my face.

Happy 2011! This is going to be a scary year for me. Whee.

*some pics are credited to Justin and Esther.

How You Know You're Getting Old

(Note: these may or may not be things I've personally experienced)

- You feel annoyed when you see other people being young and happy.

- You hate going out at night time because there are always hooligans out causing a ruckus.

- You'd rather stay at home and watch old TV shows on a Friday night than go to a rager.

- You look at teenagers and think that you know so much more than them.

- You start saying things like "When I was young..."

- You feel sleepy after just one beer.

- You feel sleepy around 10pm.

- Your limbs start getting sore and you think they're predicting the weather.

- You start enveloping yourself in oversize sweaters and grandpa cardigans.

This is what happens when you start growing up and having Real Life experiences and understanding the crazy things adults believe in. My parents were so right about my teenage self. Damn it.

Protip: Being Tired is a Good Excuse

How does one get out of doing something they don't want to, and yet decline in a polite manner? You don't feel like getting food with that guy - tell him you're broke. You don't want to go over and hang out - say it's too cold. The best and most vague reason though, in my opinion, is to say you're too tired.

No one can argue with being too tired. Say, for example, it's summer and you're working - can't use the "too broke" or "too cold" excuse. You can't even say you have homework to do. But anyone can say they stayed up till 5am and are now too tired - even if they were staying up playing Plants vs. Zombies.

People feel sorry for people who are tired. Everyone can relate to being tired. There is no cure for being tired other than sleeping or being lazy in general. You can even say you don't believe in caffeine or don't want to chug a Red Bull after 2pm.

The best part is that you can instantly go from "tired" to "not tired."

"Well I was tired but now I'm excited let's do it!"

"Oh wait, I feel tired again."

You're welcome.

Being an Adult comes with Expectations

For about a week or so I have felt quite like an Adult. I drove to work, I made monies, I came home and made dinner for the hubby and kids... I slept at a decent hour and got up when it was still a little dark outside.

I have discovered that being a grown-up comes with many unspoken expectations. When you do something wrong no one is next to you telling you not to do it. At work, no one teaches you how to make coffee. No one says stop when you open up a new window for Farmville. Once you get hired, you are trusted to always do your work and not mess around! You are expected to stride into the office with an air of belonging and knowledge and even if you sneak out to chase deer, people assume that you're doing something productive.

When you're young, parents consistently remind you not to do "bad things," to be polite and courteous, to do good things for other people. Eventually these admonishments are supposed to turn into your conscience. That is, when you are about to check Facebook for the millionth time that day, a little parental voice in your head should say, "Hey, don't do it."

But everyone has a different kind of little voice. How do you know what you have is good enough and above the normal threshold? What if your coworker believes in a healthy 10:90 facebook-to-work ratio and yours is more like 40:60? How are we all supposed to judge the same way, and how do we know exactly what we should be doing? How much is enough and how much is too little?

Ultimately these judgey decisions we made only affect our own lives and our own future. It is hard because you are making the most important decisions for your most important adult self. Because when someone tells you the broken car bumper is secure you're the one who's at risk if it fails and you have to trust your judgment.

Throughout my life I have always done things at just above the accepted level. I get by with being pretty good at tennis, decent at violin, above average at drawing, and better than other people at being smart (lol). But now as I become an Adult I have to get my act together and start being above average. Which means being better than other people who are already Adults and already above above average. This is difficult when I look 15.

In the end we all screw up a little, lose focus for a moment, make some mistakes. But isn't it nice to know that when this happens my parents are still willing to come to my aid, clean up my mess, and tell me I won't become a failure at life. I guess I'm still not quite that Adult.

On asking questions, Part II

As we approach the end of the school year and another batch of seniors go off to graduate, here is the question that I've been asking them the most:

"So what are you doing after graduation?"

Although common, this can be a dangerous question to ask. On one hand, it is necessary to know where they disappear off to if you never see them again (except on Facebook). On the other, you can probably expect that they've been asked this a couple million times, and if they don't have a better answer than "bumming around" then it is probably also painful to answer.

If you've read the first part, On Asking Questions, you'll remember that it's annoying when people ask the same repetitive generic questions over and over, and you are continuously obligated to provide the same mundane answers. However, in this case I feel that the graduation question is an important boring question that must be asked. Perhaps it'd be better if you asked it in different ways:

"What are some plans of yours for the upcoming future?"
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"What are you going to do with your life???"

Or maybe it's easier to answer if you ask it in a more short-term fashion:

"Anything fun planned for the summer?"
"Where are you living next year?"
"What are you doing tonight??"

But all in all, as much as I hate getting asked the graduation question, I think the ask-ee should simply think of it as a silent plea: "DON'T LEAVE ME PLSPLSPLS." When I ask this question, that and other similar thoughts are probably going through my head - "LET'S HANG OUT DON'T GO FAR AWAY I DON'T WANT TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS."

Yea. So hopefully now you'll feel a little more flattered when I or anyone else ask you this. Or better yet, don't even wait for me to ask! Just tell me! Don't leave! Pls.

Things to Rely on that Begin with 'M'

In Real Life, there are so few things you can consistently and regularly depend on. Places change, the weather varies, people come and go. You can put all your faith into something only to have your hopes dashed against a very sharp object, leaving it bleeding rivers of crimson.

Throughout all of this I thought I'd put together a small compilation of things I can always trust and believe in, because "some things never change."

1. Manga
I just read the 107th chapter of Full Metal Alchemist, a much-loved manga of mine. For a while it has been building up to this epic fight between the God-like evil antagonist figure and our heroes, Ed and Al and their friends. Of course it only follows that at the apex of the fight, when people have their eyes shot out or are impaled on the ground, that Al sacrifices himself for his brother. And because of his brother's undying love, Ed reaches into his deep reserves of emotional strength and begins to WIN.


Ed and all his friends. I wish I had this many friends.

As most fantasy fiction goes, in the end you win because of all the friends you made, supporting you, believing in you, filled with your heroic and selfless love. Then it turns out the antagonist's personal weakness is that he wishes he had such good friends as the protagonist. I can always trust this to be true and that is why manga is so satisfying in its EPIC-NESS.

2. Money
One can probably also count on money to be a definite universally influencing factor in our daily lives. This is probably why many people become workaholics and disregard others - they feel like people only disappoint, but money can always buy you what you want (if inflation isn't too high)

3. Music
Music is a great medium to channel in all your faith, because it won't run away from you, turn into something else, or stab you in the back. The same old song you loved a few years ago can help bring back the same good emotions when you listen to it again. How lovely.

4. Memories
Good memories cannot be ruined or taken away. That is why I keep a diary, to write them down and make sure I don't forget. Or take pictures. Now would also be a good opportunity for me to make a comparison of good memories to some sort of delicate and enticing chocolate desert, but I haven't thought of it yet.


What a Good Memory looks like.

For some reason all of these happened to begin with 'M'. These are all the ones I could think of.